


Christmas Lights

by sakuraxdream



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Christmas Angst, M/M, Mention of Death, i have christmas trauma im so sorry for this, me when i can’t stop writing angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuraxdream/pseuds/sakuraxdream
Summary: ** A small one-shot continuation of “Farewell, My Paradise” **It had been 8 years since Suga’s passing. Tendou was well out of college, making his way up into the culinary industry. It had been years since Tendou had been to Japan. It had been years since Tendou had even talked to the people that he had once been close to...
Relationships: Sugawara Koushi/Tendou Satori
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Christmas Lights

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It’s Dream :) 
> 
> This is a small one-shot continuation of Farewell, My Paradise so if you haven’t read that, I would highly suggest reading it before this. 
> 
> You can find Farewell, My Paradise [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27750250)
> 
> This fic was inspired by Christmas Lights by Straight No Chaser so give it a listen if you really wanna cry :D

It had been 8 years since Suga’s passing. Tendou was well out of college, making his way up into the culinary industry. It had been years since Tendou had been to Japan. It had been years since Tendou had even talked to the people that he had once been close to. 

He passed the multiple dessert shops, his feet making tracks in the small layer of snow on the sidewalk. A French Christmas song was playing a few streets away, faintly being heard where Tendou was walking. Christmas lights strung all around him, almost creating a spotlight for his path as the bustling crowd brushed by him, the body heat insulated him from the wind blowing against his back. He quickly slipped away, into a store, and the heat wrapped itself around every inch of Tendou’s freezing body. His face was the same color as his hair from the frosty air. 

Making eye contact with the short lady at the small desk, he smiled softly, beginning to walk over to where she stood. She looked at him warmly, the grey streaks in her hair and the wrinkles in her cheeks and under her eyes was physical proof that she had lived a happy life. 

“That time of year already?” She asked softly, handing him what he was coming in for, before he had even said anything. Her voice was shaky as the french words had left her lips, in a way of soothing the boy-turned-man who stood directly in front of her. 

He took it from her and nodded; “Yeah. You’re probably tired of seeing me come around after all these years.” 

She chuckled, and the noise echoed inside the small shop. The place was empty, but was taken care of perfectly, every inch of the store glistened. This little shop was all the lady had, as Tendou knew. 

“You’re one of the few people who come to see me here, I could never tire of you boy. Don’t be ridiculous” She swat at him playfully, he adored the old lady, seeing her as a grandmother-type figure. 

Tendou chuckled to himself, looking at the object in his hands, his smile lowering into a softer, more bittersweet one. He remembered the first holiday without him, the thoughts intruded his mind, not being shaken away. 

_Tendou sat in his dorm room. His roommate went home to see his family for the holidays. He had told his mother weeks in advance that he wasn’t going to make it back home in time._

_“Too much schoolwork on his hands;” that was the lie he had told._

_Truth is, he was scared. He didn’t want to be home, he was doing horribly, and didn’t have the guts to be slapped in the face by the memories in his hometown. So he stayed in Paris alone. His phone blew up with spam texts and calls from his friends wishing him a “Merry Christmas” and “Can’t wait for you to come home!” texts. He deleted them all. He deleted the social media apps that kept him in touch with the friends who had only reminded him of how much pain he was in. Was it selfish? Yeah. He knew he was being unreasonable and stubborn, and pretending like the things that had happened didn't affect anyone else. But, the one person who taught Tendou how to let others in, was gone. Now he had nobody. He wouldn’t let anyone come too close to him either._

_And so, he lay, back against the couch as he sat sprawled on the floor. In silence. He couldn't get the memories out of his head, no matter how hard he tried to block it out. The words spoken on the day that he had lost everything lingered in his mind._

_“Farewell, my paradise.”_

_Tendou needed to get out. He would do anything to get out of his head. He stood up from the floor suddenly, and walked out the door. Not bothering to grab a coat on the way out. He walked, and walked, and walked, until he couldn’t feel his legs, and his arms numb as the wind slammed viciously against his body. He was sure he was going to grow ill, but it felt good to feel absolutely nothing._

_The faint sounds of some French Christmas song played as people rushed by, in a hurry to get home to see their families. It was Christmas Eve after all._

_In the corner of his eye, a flash of white caught his attention. He turned his head to the side to look, and was met with a beautiful bouquet of flowers perched delicately inside of a small boutique. He moved into the store slowly, the newly discovered heat burned at his arms and face. He looked around to see that not a soul was present in the store with him, which was odd, since the other stores around flourished with people._

_He floated towards the bouquet that was displayed in the middle of the room. He delicately ruffled his two fingers over the petals._

_He would have loved them._

_His eyes welled as he stared into the off-white color that did nothing but remind him of all that he had lost. Tears streamed down his cheeks silently as he wished to hold the boy in his arms one more time. He still wore the ring. Every single day of his life, only taking it off to wash dishes and to shower, fearful that it would get lost._

_“Mon chéri, are you alright?”_

_He was broken from his thoughts when a voice allied from next to him. He shot up straight, his hands punching himself in the face as he rushed to wipe the tears from his face. It was no use though, his eyes were swollen from crying the hours prior._

_“Sorry for intruding madame” He apologized quickly, embarrassed that he had shown so much vulnerability to someone he didn’t even know._

_“It’s Christmas Eve, what are you doing in a small place like this?” She asked concerningly, acting as if Tendou had any better way to spend his evening._

_Without thinking, he spoke; “My fiancé just passed, and uh, I just happened to notice your flowers as I was walking by, I know he would have loved them, that’s all.” He chuckled nervously, and turned around quickly to leave, when the woman stopped him._

_“There’s a chapel down the road. You may not be religious, but it always helped to comfort me after my husband passed.” She spoke kindly, holding one of the many white roses from the bouquet in her hand._

_Tendou’s eyes widened a bit, not necessarily knowing how to react to the gesture of the lady in front of him. He slowly turned the rest of his body around to face the lady, taking the flower from her grasp. He smiled sadly, nodding a “Thank you” to her before exiting the small boutique and heading for the small chapel down the road, just as she had instructed him to._

_As he would do the same every Christmas Eve._

“He was very lucky to have you, Mon chéri.” 

She had spoken to him, bringing Tendou back to reality. He chuckled and shook his head; “I was the lucky one.” 

She nodded softly, smilingly at the boy warmly. She wished him one more ‘Merry Christmas’ before he exited the store. 

Entering the small chapel down the road from the boutique, a choir was heard from the front of the church as people were scattered about praying. He walked towards the small set of half lit candles on the side of the religious building. No, he wasn't very religious, but it was better than doing nothing in his memory. He watched the flame flicker silently as he sat the rose next to it. 

Maybe his late lover had flourished into one of the many flowers resting at the side of these candles, providing comfort to those who had nearly lost hope in everything. That’s what Koushi did best. Comforting people even when he, himself, had lost everything. He smiled softly, and exited the chapel. 

He walked through the snow, which had grown slightly more steep since he had stepped into the chapel. The Christmas lights glowed brightly from all sides. The crowd of people dying down, most were surely at parties, with family and friends surrounding them. The thought was comforting. Snowflakes fell all about, laying delicately against his jacket and the hair that he had allowed to grow out again. 

After a few minutes of walking, he approached the apartment building. He shook his keys from out of his pocket and unlocked the door leading to the lightly decorated apartment room. Stepping into his home, he twisted the wedding band that sat on his left finger.

“Home already?”

“Yeah” Tendou smiled, locking hands with the person who was now standing in front of him. 

Suga was gone. That was something that couldn’t be changed, and Tendou knew how proud Suga would be. Watching him live happily after a long time being sad.

Still, Tendou would always twist the ring on his finger. 

This time, it was the ring that matched with the man he held hands with.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for this my Christmas trauma and my fear of being abandoned really showed here :D 
> 
> As always! you can find me on twitter [here :)](https://mobile.twitter.com/home)


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